First time

3.23 am

I'm still wide awake

Laying down with nothing to do

I watched anime just now

Hey! The next thing i know is i'm crying

Soo touched by that anime

And then,

I remember how i used to feel when i cannot sleep at time like this

I would feel soo lonely

Thinking of you

I recalling those wonderful feeling

Texting you in the middle of the night just to ask " are you okay?"

Never tired of texting good morning, sweet dream

Because i loved you very much

Eh!

Did you know i had a huge crush on you?

It wouldn't called crush if it didn't hurt

I rather being hurt for loving you

I missed we talk about feeling at this late night

I missed all those first time

I missed all of you

I cannot do anything without you here

I always need you by my side

Sometime i just looked at the old picture

Reading some old conversation

I missed that

I feel lonely, even you are now half mine

I am afraid i would feel lonely even after you are mine

I don't want you to forget all those first time feeling

I have a jar full of wishes and paper crumbled

All those first time 

I remember it well

Aren't you?

If i can travel through time 

I would tell you, 

Please don't forget me

You never know how much you meant to me

I was afraid being left alone when you are the only one i can hold on to

I really afraid of losing you

I cannot afford how much pain i have to endure because of losing you

Just, please

Don't let be all by my side, Alone

I need you my dear

I Love you soo much

kerepek #4

Halo this time saya nak merepek paling panjang. Bukan pasal saya bosan atau stress.  Haha bukannya apa Cuma nak elak dari tlampau melayan segala macam anime dan mobie dalam external saya. Huhu. Jadi masa tengah malam neh la bila xdapatbtidur idea untuk masak kerepek sangat mlimpah-ruah. Oh masa ni, saya tengah dalam mppd addick pada gae COC-clash of clan. Haha saja main neh sebeb nak tau kenapa ramai sangat orang main benda ni. Now i know. I'm one of the victim. Addicted to this game. Haha. Now i become anytime anywhere gamers. Haha xjuga la. Bukan saya ni pemain game tegar pun. Kadang2 pandai bosn juga main game. Mesti nak cari game baru. Weehee. Kenapa pagi buta macam ni belum tidur. Ini semua salah saya! Minum white coffee kan. Kaw2 lagi tu. Haha. Malam/pagi buta neh nak merepek pasal apa aa? Hmm * berfikir

*masih berfikir

*aik blm habis fikir lagi.

*pause jap tgk COC. Nt kena kacau base sy. ahaha

Okeh sambung. Haha baru main ba neh. Aduhai macam xbleh berhenti uda main neh. Macamna laini? Haha

Dulu sy xsuka main sebab xtau cara main. Sekali dah tau cara. Ee bangun tgk hp, bangun tgk hp. Hahah. Stop la pasal COC

Saya nak merepek pasal entah. Haha lama kan xaktif membelog.

************************

' If you need me, but don't want me. I will stay. If you want me but no longer need me, I have to go.

Even it never crossed in my mind to go from you. I just cannot be apart from you. I think it would be real hard if you not being by my side. I cannot imagine my life without you. Huhu. I feel sad when I think about it. Such a heartache to think. I don't wanna think about that. Haha. Ee. What happening to me. Being such a pathetic person when it comes to this matter. Huhu. This relationship i have.. hmmm...

These really have deep meaning for me. Haha LOL eh I'm start being emotional, huhu. Okeh kawal jiwa dulu. Jangan taip macam2. Haha

*hilang idea

*tgk COC jap

Eee bila nak merepek datang perasaan mengantuk. Bukan mengantuk bah yg sebenarnya. Cuma malas mnaip. Aha. Okehlah sambung sikit lagi.

I just hoped you would never forget me even if you're so busy with work. I try to understand and give you some times. Hha. Eh cukup la ni. Apa ka merepek malam2. Dah xdapat tidur. X kena dodoi la. Ee sad *buat muka duck face. Xpa la. Saya dengar lagu dalam sound cloud ja la. Haaha.

Klinik jadi Tempat lepak

 

Yeaha. Seriously kerja jadi jururawat neh bukannya senang. Even kerja dekat klinik neh bukan satu kerja yg mudah. Ramai yg cakap kerja dekat klinik senang. Cuma banyak report ja. Hmm betul juga. Tapi klinik neh banyak sangat skop kerja dia. Memang tak penat macam kerja dekat hospital. Sebab kalau kerja d hospital, memang penat tahap melampau2 dengan oder doktor, melayan karenah pesakit dan relatif dia, dan buat nursing report. 

Tapi kalau d klinik neh, memang orang akan nampak kami cuma attend antenatal ( ibu mengandung), postnatal( lepas mengandung) , kanak-kanak, dan perancang keluarga. Tambah lagi ini klinik pedalaman. Kilinik kesihatan ********. So orang luar anggap klinik kami sangat tenang. Haha aduhai. Rasanya sinilah klinik yg xputus pesakit datang. Sehari lebih 100 pesakit datang ( baru OPD ) campur dengan MCH mungkin dekat 300 pesakit sehari. Doktor cuma ada 5, MA ada 5, nurse memang ramai dalam 40 orang. Ramai kan? Hmm. Tapi doktor neh cover lagi 3 klinik kesihatan daerah yg lain. Jadi kadang2 cuma ada 2 org doktor. MA pun ada yg keluar kursus, attend sana sini. Tinggalah 2,3 orang. Hari ni cuma ada 2 MA. Saya kat kecemasan ni sorang2. Haha. Bukannya susah sangat kerja sini. Tapi melayan karenah pesakit? Hmm. Jangan cakap la tahap sabar ni. Datang sorang ibu sakit kunun. Bila masuk bilik minta periksa, akhirnya semua ahli keluarga (7 orang sakit) . Haha lawak kan. Orang sni memang suka ubat la. Ada yg seminggu 2x datang. Lepas tu dia pulak lagi pandai dari doktor. Haha kawan2 farmasi saya pn dah kenal sangat dengan semua pesakit neh. Apa tak nya, tiap2 minggu datang. Haha kalau ubat kurang kna bagi, dia tau lagi pastu minta macam2. Aduhai. Sabar ja la. 

Lagi best, sini pesakit dia ada pelakon hebat. Haha. Siap nangis2. Aduhai. Pesakit ni okeh sy bagi nama A. C A ni selalu sakit perut. Kalau datang pandai nangis2. Dah kena bagi injection Ranitidine + Hyoscine belum hilang sakit. Lepas tu, dia berlegar2 d kawasan klinik sambil buat muka sakit dan menangis. Satu hari c A datang, sambil mengadu sakit sampai xboleh nak jalan. Haha. Ada la MA kami neh. Dia suh baring. Dia ada "tangan ajaib". Dia cek2 perut c A. Trus suruh bangun. Wahh ajaibnya. C A bangun mcm xda sakit apa2. Hebat2. Hahaa

Paling lawak c A. Bila dah bagi segala injection dia masih sakit. Kalau xkena layan. Dia p baring atas katil sambil meraung2. Apa la kalau dah malas nak layan dia. Inject je la pakai water for injection. Eh hilang sakit dia? Ahhaha. Lawak. Kalau ada doktor lg. Aduhai. Macam dia la yg tanggung semua sakit dalam dunia neh. Alahai. Pesakit ku. Sabar ja la.

Budak2 sekolah suka sangat eskep sekolah then p klnik? Apa yg best sangat kat klnik neh. Banyak nurse atau MA sni hensem/lawa kut. Haha. Malas dah nak cerita panjang lebar. okeh bye.

08092014

Sitting calmly in this place
Looking at the empty sky
Suddenly i felt a painful heartache
I don't know why

I listen to a song
I try to sing a long
But voice doesn't come out
I scream inside

I just don't know why and what
Maybe a little nap should do..

The other side

It's 2.50 am. I still cannot sleep. My dear on the other side of phone already sleep. Huhu. I  just wanted to tell you how much you meant to me. I cannot imagine how my life be without you. You completed me. The thing i lack off you fill it in. I was worried about this long distance relationship. I feel empty without you here. First it's only 7 minute to reach you. Now it's took whole day to see you. Thank god phone always available. I feel sad without you. But, it only matter of time until we be together once again. Dear god, please let us be together. Izinkan kami bersama. I cannot afford of losing him. I love him soo much. I better sleep. Huhu

kerepek #3

aaa nak tidur awal. tapi penangan white coffee sangat tak mengizinkan saya untuk tidur.  jadi memandangkan saya tengah bosan tahap melampau. jadi inilah masa nya nak update belog neh. biarlah msa bosan neh la saya punya tahap merepak melampau2 sampai  muntah pelangi. huu,,

baru lepas layan anime. eh sedihnya, haha apasal semua yg saya buat hari neh buat sy sedih pulak, huh., mood: mellow.

so masa neh la yg terbaik nak merepek. sebenarnya saya oncall malam neh. malas lah stay sorg2 kat rumah. so i p keningau lepak w kazen. haha esok ada 10k langkah. haha. terpaksa la bangun awal, ngee . y dah nekad nak kuruskan badan ( tiap takut ada azam mcm neh) . rasa tertekan pulak kalau badan besar semacam. huhu. ee.. kurang keyakinan unutk melaram. haha. kalau selfie harap muka ja la yg terpaksa edit pakai 360. haha tp kalau tgk in person. alahai. minah gendut mana pula neh. wkwwkw. jan harap wajah ja.ee. merepek pasal berat pulak. ee. memendangkan saya xda kawan nak p makan dah, so, mula la mood malas makan macam zaman dahulu kala. tiap petang kalau rajin saya nk p joging. huhu.

aktif balik. bagi fit kaki. setakat naik turun bukit depan klinik apa la sangat. Haha jan riak.. haha. kalau esok sy xdapat round komplex 6x, mmg akan buat intensive training la. eh lemahnya kaki neh. tangan apatah lagi. sit up? pumping? xdpt buat dah., padahal masa sekolah dulu break dance senang ja pun buat. haha, pumping pun senang ja., now? aiyaaa.. im so depressed with my weight. overweight punya orang. bikin malu punya lemaks! hhuu..

okeh. first step.

- set goal. *47 kg. (minima) 52 ( max)

- reduce sugar and carbohydrate intake

- excersise regularly. haha

- detox

-maintain

haha ambitious sungguh. semoga hujung bulan9 neh saya hilang 5kg. huhu., current weight (56,3). 

aww itu sangat berat yaa? saya pun hairan macamna saya boleh pelihara lemaks sebanyak neh. huu. sangat berjaya., haha. if my fat can make money, i'm billionaire.. hehe.

eh cukup panjang dah.? whaaatt?? not yet. haha. 

i better get off from this lappy. tired, but not sleepy. i wanna watch some anime. but. urghh, maybe im just not in mood to do so. erkk.. kbai. malas dah menaip. huhu