hello blog. it's been a while. i didn't have much time to update any entry on this blog. but just now while im watching some korean drama ( master sun ). suddenly i feel something hurt inside. in my current situation and this drama. i feel something pain in my chest, " when your heart doesn't tell the truth, pain gives the answer. right now i feel pain and hurt. even though i said that i am okay. but deep down i'm not okay. it's hurt. it's really hurt. when i said i can move on. I CAN'T. maybe took a lil while, but right now it hurt. i just can say that i'm really hurt. really hurt that i can't even cry.
when driving back to nabawan. along the way, i actually cried. i don't know what i am feeling. all the dream. it's really JUST a dream after all.. i really hoped that the dream can become reality. i know that it would be impossible. i tried. and i fail. i dont't even get a proper answer, how long it gonna take to forget all of this? i hope after march i can forget all of it and move on. how can i face the day? the sun? the people. just with this smile i always putting on my face, they would never know the pain in my heart. only me n Allah know what exactly in my heart.
i was really stupid hoping that dream come true. it was a bad dream. i wanna cry out loud. i can cry through watching this korean drama.
urghh i better sleep.